5/7

its like im actually there, dating that stripper!

"hAnnaG, i think tj and i r walking to cheery creek."

"The girls are out tonight!"

En français?

"DOES IT NOT SMELL LIKE AN ATTIC?"
It still smells like an attic, but now someones Grandpa crawled into it and then died and then it caught on fire.

"This is the meltiest I've ever felt in my life."

"It's a very melty bathroom! With very melty things in it!"

"I don't know who Brooke is. And Ramnath sounds like a super villain."

"Yes! You should be! I've been fondling--EIFFEL TOWER."

"Man-jo is the new dubstep! It's a mango and a banjo! It's the bro-iest instrument."

"What happens to food when you toast it?"
"I don't know, it's a fuckin' miracle."

"It took us 2500 years to invent dubstep so that Stephen Baldwin could Tecktonik with Jesus."

"Something about a party? And Al Quaeda?'"
"That's what I heard too!"
"Sounds like a BLAST!"
"Al Quaker. NOT A BLAST."
"GIVE ME THE OATS."

"This song is actually a remix of Tipper taking a shit. Like, hey Tipper, here's $3000 to make people listen to you poop. Most people would PAY $3000 to have someone listen to them poop."

"There are two kinds of people in this world: cars, and horses."
"...are you guys still fucked up? It's 6AM."

"Your horse knowledge is inadequate, at best."

"Is this drugs? CLICK!"

I am one with nature. I am going to try to hug a deer.
Come here little buddy! Come to Cuddle Duncans! Try this, we call it the HUG DRUG.

Duncan is now Cuddle Duncans. Larsson is the new TJ, Hannah is the new Larsson, and Paul is still New Paul.

You only get one whomp, but oh my god. It is the best whomp ever. Thanks Lunesta. Whomp of the evening goes to...

Why doesn't Tipper have a chin? It's from tipping all the time.

Are you guys seeing these crumbs? Where are they going?!

"Age me when you get back. Tjamjp."

Last time I got a flu shot...

FUCK AMERICA. HAWKQUEST!

FUCK BLANK. HAWKQUEST!

FUCK THIS. HAWKQUEST!

We are trying to explain why the door isn't what we think it is.

WALK LIKE THE KING.

"It's like a...like a...god it's like a...shit, like a giant church...and then there's a window...and a pillar. And you are Jesus." ...it took me that entire conversation to realize I had no idea who that guy was.

It's like blacking out. I woke up and Fox was dead and I still had 70 lives left and it was terrifying.

I'm really tired Basshunter. Can we just wrap this up?

Your shirt is like an endless series of sunsets.

It's de-tuning! It's just a series of notes!

Guys. We have been funny for like...25 hours now.

Guys did you see Tippers gigantic eyebrows and mustache?! You were right Hannah, he IS old!

"Guess what I just got back?"
"What did you just get back?"
"My divorce settlement!"


Fuzzy barnacle. Skydiving. The maps. Basshunter quotes. Hypnotiq. That one thing Kleetus said about water. It happened sometime between Smallville and Lord of the Rings. Max standing, then melting under the mattress. The blinds. The moon. The stupid, useless cat dancers that kicked us off the box. The glow bracelets burning holes into the floor. The water fountain. 2 hugs/day. Arabian aunt.

Aww Hannah, THAT'S what you forgot! Your bikini and a lot of beads! I forgot to shave my head and then be old and grow a nasty beard and wear terrifyingly unattractive clothes.

Half of these bro's are 12.

DID YOU GUYS JUST SEE THAT COWBOY?!

That fucking gorilla llama with the third eye.

MY HAND IS CUBES. What is pot? Do you guys do pot?

The carpet looks like alphabet soup. That's how you know you are sober. It's supposed to look like that.

Sitting is the new standing.

Vibesquad getting sprayed in the face by the Vibesquad repellent system installed in his board by the manufacturer.

"Well...none of us know where you live. Also my phone is becoming increasingly fluid."